Woofiest Christmas!

Our Poor Little Angel...has a halo!

Poor little Sausage...

A couple of weeks ago we took our Gertie to hospital to have her spayed.

Just as she was getting back to her old playful self she became really unwell. Severe vomitting, runs and she was unable to get up. QR and I rushed her to hospital- they admitted her and conducted emergency surgery-( having to reopen the old wound and then explore her gut) it looked like she may have swallowed something which was causing a blockage. They found nothing and in hospital she stayed- it was touch and go. It was really distressing knowing she was in there and every time my phone rang my heart skipped a beat thinking the worse.

The vet phoned us Sunday- Gertie wasn't eating but hadn't been sick for a few days and she'd be better off at home with her moms. I am so pleased to report that once home she has been hoovering up her prescription food and meds like no business and is going from strength to strength. She did her first poo and how we cheered!! They think she had a severe case of gastrointeritus. She has a massive wound on her belly poor thing.

I have a sneaking suspicion that she might be royally spoilt this Christmas!

As for other matters- I will frankly be quite pleased to see the back of this year. It has proven to be a very stressful year. What with work and matters of the heart- that one day soon I shall write about when less raw. Things are looking brighter now though and Boo's bounce has returned (all be it a bounce with a look over the shoulder at the moment!)

Adventures with Gertie...

Well...so far Gertie has certainly had an eventful life! She's had tonnes of scrapes, adventures, outings, and ofcourse...love.

The other evening QR and I were taking Gertrude for a walk along the river I live on. Gertie has dog mania at the moment and is totally obsessed by them. A pooch came our way...Gertie got over excited and ended up rolling into the river! Very frightening- there was a six foot drop and no way we could reach her. There was nothing else for it- Boo had to jump in. It was stenching, thick and black and you couldn't see into it at all. In I jumped (luckily avoiding being impaled on any discarded bits of metal that's regularly dumped in there) it was icy cold and you couldn't touch the bottom. Apparently Gertie completely disapppeared under...QR screamed... I managed to scramble under the water and grab hold of her and somehow throw her up onto the edge.

I was now stuck in the stenching water- there was no way I could get out because of the drop. I had to swim up stream and found an old chain to help pull myself up, passers by helped pull me out like an undignified seal!! (Very embarrassing as by now quite an audience had gathered!)

Gertie found the whole episode exhilerating...Boo on the other hand was like a drowned rat and stinking of rotten eggs!

Needless to say we are now keeping Gertrude firmly on a lead at all times anywhere near the river.

Lesson learnt!

Boo Stays Afloat....Bully Boss Sinks!

For the past four months Boo has been on the receiving end of an endless persistant bullying campaign from my new manager in the new company I'm working for. He has been quite an expert at intimidation, harassment, making me feel inadequate, he's an excellent mind fucker. He's even involved some of his subordinates. I have felt so incredibly stressed, ill, I have completly dreaded going in to work and my confidence totally went to pot.

I decided that enough was enough and to make an official complaint. I refuse to be a victim, I decided it was time to take control. It was really difficult as I had no way of knowing who he had as his supporters. However, I'm so glad I did- it turns out that others have come forward saying they too have been bullied. He has now been suspended- they apparently have a long list of issues to deal with- fraud, corruption, theft and my evidence finally led to his suspension- and it's highly unlikely he'll be back.

This experience has really taught me some humility. I'm ashamed to admit that if I ever heard of anyone saying they were being bullied at work I'd secretly scoff and mock. Thinking they were soft and weak. Not any more I am pleased to say.

The justice of it all though...what is making me smile and chuckle to myself the most... is that they have offered me his job in the meantime! I will be managing the very people that have been his foot soldiers!

Ofcourse I will be fair and reasonable- but let me at 'em!!!

Yorkshire for Boo's Birthday

Boo swapped London to spend her birthday with QR & Gertie in wonderful Yorkshire. The air was so soft and tasted so clean, and as for the fish and chips...Yum! Just what we all needed. X

Blue Skies Ahead...?

" The worse loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself "

Mark Twain



I went to a friends' sisters' party this weekend in deepest Oxfordshire countryside. It turned out to be a surprise straight wedding, there were 250 guests- all of them exceedingly straight, white, middle-classed and typical country folk with typical country attitudes.

I was wearing my "Butch, Butcher, Butchest" T-shirt! I found myself gulping down the Pimms at an attempt to numb the stares and ridiculous comments and conversations emanating from the small minded middle Englanders.

I so wanted to be elsewhere- I felt awkward and uncomfortable in my own self...not good. I wasn't in a good place when I'd arrived and was feeling fairly sad- had I known it was to be a wedding I would have avoided attendance at all costs!

Anyways, I'm back and in recovery and feeling a little less sad on a daily basis. QR, Gertie and Boo are going to Yorkshire for a few days next week and I so hope we get some blue skies.

Biker Border!

Baking hot in London today. So took Gertie for a spin on the bike- she's a natural biker!

The Genius Gert!

I was woken suddenly this morning by a frantic phonecall from QR. "Boo I've lost Gertie, she's completely disappeared". I leapt out of bed, mistakingly putting on my "I love Birds T-shirt!" pulled my jeans on (no boxers commando style!) and bolted out of the door on a sprint to the park to find our three month old Gertie and comfort poor QR.

But as soon as I got out of the flat who do I find scratching at the door...Gertie! She had managed to cross three roads, and find her way home about a quarter of a mile away! She was very happy to see me but not half as happy as QR when I phoned her with the news. QR had gone to stand with a couple of other dog walkers and we reckon that Gertie just hadn't spotted where she was, had panicked and ran off back home.

I know most parents think it -but we both think our Gertie is somewhat of a little genius!

Phew! It could have been an awful start to QRs' birthday!

On the other hand my bike makes me smile.....

I Can't STRESS it Enough!

Phew....!

What a few weeks Boo's had of it! I've never thought of myself as someone who gets stressed easily... although I admit I do worry if I'm not worrying about something or other. But when it comes to real heavy stress I've recently really had my fill of it.

Stress is a killer. It's all consuming. It's like a beast that feeds on itself- a downward never ending spiral. I've been having sleepless nights, I'm fraught and over emotional, paranoid, my nails are bitten down to the quick, I'm listless and just wanna wrap myself up in my quilt and hideaway.

I keep reminding myself of my friend who I know through work, he suffered so badly with stress that he went off sick, his body went into crisis through diabetes and he ended up having his leg amputated. The last time I saw him he pleaded with me to not ever allow work to stress me out- because it is no way worth it.

Rationally ofcourse it all seems so futile and stupid to be feeling so distressed about something as meaningless as work. I tell myself constantly to stop stressing- it's only a job. I know I have to let go, give up the control I'm so used to and let the powers that be do whatever it is they want to do. It's a painful process but it's time for me to move on and do something else.

I've given myself a target of three months to find another job. That way I've got a light at the end of the tunnel and can pull back. I'm going to do as little as possible at work and enjoy the summer with the lovely QR and Gertie. QR has been my rock and has provided me with sage advice which hasn't always been easy to hear but has always been bang on.

Life really is too short. I need to focus on what is good in my life and stop wasting my energy on futile battles. Boo...pull yourself together!!

Stress.... please don't let the beast get to you!

Mega Gertz!

What a few weeks! Stress city at work, poor QR's had a hard time of it, endless visits from friends... and sleepless nights full of angst. I'm totally exhausted...

BUT...it it all somehow feels so much better when I wake up to soft warm cuddles from our precious Gertie...she has her booster jabs tomorrow and I can't wait to take her out exploring!

Marriage...I do ...no I don't...

Boo's very much looking forward to going to the CP (Civil Partnership) of some dear friends today who have been together for 20 years. It promises to be a lovely day full of love and sunshine- and there will be a guaranteed knees up later...the Irish don't you just love them!

I have very mixed feelings on the whole marriage/CP concept...it really isn't for me. I get annoyed at the way society seems to view relationships- and it often places more importance on the ones who are married. (Judge Judy's catchphrase seems to be "Why are you not married??") One of the first questions people would ask about QR's ex- relationship was "were they married?" I really don't see that it makes any difference either way. I am always bothered by the question on monitoring forms- single or married? ...well I'm neither!

I know that for some people making a public statement about your shared love and betrothing yourself to another and celebrating that betrothal is important. To some it's about religeon and the church. To some it's about security. To some it's about having a legally binding document to ensure your assets are safely shared and you have legal rights should anything happen to the other. To others it's a statement about equality (although we still can't officially get "married"- we are allowed a civil partnership in this country instead). To others it's about having a damn good party...and bloody good on them all. They have my absolute, complete support and love.

But to me each day I wake up and choose to be with my girlfriend is a statement of my love for her. To me the proactive everyday choice to be with her speaks more about my love then being legally bound to her. I don't want a legally binding document in my relationship, I don't want the state involved in my relationship...

Don't get me wrong- I love weddings and CPs- so I'm excedingly grateful that not everyone thinks like me! I'm off to don my suit and tie and party here I come...

Love, Peace and Happiness to all- married or not!

"WORK"- it's a four letter word!

Boo's work is extremely stressful at the moment. There are a ton of politics going on combined with a load of egos which really isn't a great combination. The powers that be seem to be making judgements based on no evidence and want to severely cut our funding which will have a catastrophic effect on 100's of lives.

Over the last couple of years we've turned the service completely around - we now have an excellent outreach support service which literally helps save older vulnerable people's lives. The staff have a keen work ethic and my management team are just about the best you could ever hope to have...it's all at risk and Boo's finding coping difficult. I feel so responsible for the service I manage, for the 25 staff and for the 350 older vulnerable older people we support.

I admit that I am a total control freak (I kind of have to be)- but having very little control about the future of the service right now is almost unbearable. I tell myself- "it's only a job", and try and pull back- but one of the main reasons why we've managed to make it something so special and of such high quality is because we have put our hearts and souls into it 100%

I know my boundaries and limit my public stress and anxieties- putting on a brave face for the others but it saddens me so- I could cry. I know I have to look after myself and pull back but I'm not finding it that easy to do.

It could go either way right now- and not knowing is fairly tormenting.

Boo's Outing...

Boo had a lovely day trip today- went to the coast (Seven Sisters Country Park) with a dear friend. The sun was scorching- so dipping my toes in the sea was bliss. Seeing the horizon and breathing the fresh sea and sun soaked air was delightful- Boo needed to as work has been mighty stressful and heavy of late.

Boo was very naughty and had a cream tea- for some of you who may not know; a cream tea is something that us English like to indulge in when on a country outing. It consists of a scone, strawberry jam, lashings of clotted cream and a pot of English tea- yum!

Flowers are so sexual don't you think?

I'll be my flower's bee when she comes over for dinner later!

Gertie will have loads of beautiful trees to wee by!