I'm good with pain. Hard as nails me. Seriously...pain doesn't bother me...
But this morning I woke up feeling grey and shaking. As I got out of bed a searing pain shot through my inner core. I fell to the floor unable to stand and crawled on my hands and knees to the toilet- much to Gertie's amusement! (No Gertie I am NOT playing with the damn ball!) Desperate though I was I couldn't wee.
It's known as Proctalgia fugax. A symptom of IBS. It's a pain so extreme that it feels like I'm dying! Dramatic I know. But the whole colon goes into spasm- like someone has rammed a steel rod up your arse all the way up to your chest (yes I know a turn on for some but certainly not my cup of tea!) It's painful to breath, to stand or walk, to sit, you just have to lie down. Gertie was desperate to wee...I managed to let her into the garden then collapsed in my hall in a heap on the floor. Riddled with pain and ashamed as I am...I welled up with an overwhelming feeling of self pity and started to bawl my eyes out like a baby.
It's sunny outside and I want to get on the motorbike, go for a swim and zoom into work...but I can't move. It's starting to pass now- it should only last a few minutes but this attack's lasted an hour. I'm in bed feeling very sorry for myself and very alone.