Tuesday, 9 December 2008

The Ex Factor

I'm in love. Deeply so. I've learnt so much about myself in such a short space of time...it's amazing!

It's not been easy though....due to the Ex Factor.

The Ex.

The Ex she had a 25 year relationship with. The Ex she grew up with. The Ex she had lived with throughout the whole of her adult life. The Ex who she will always be joined at the heart with. The Ex who has told her she can come back to in two years time if she wants. The Ex who expected to be the one who will pick her up from the hospital after her operation.

The Ex who is the protector, the brother, the father, the best friend...

The Ex.

It's been hard...it's getting less hard...my jealousy and insecurity is mostly now at an acceptable level.

I still get pissed off at things...like when he phones to check my party is OK and she's safe (wonder if he'd do that if I were a male?) like how he calls her "love" when he speaks to her like he's always done. Like how his family are her family and I'm the big secret and always will be.

But I think that's what has made us so incredibly strong and solid...it not being easy.

I can't imagine being with someone for 25 years. I can't imagine what on Earth it must feel like to no longer be with them. It must be like having to try and walk again after forgetting how to.

My girlfriend is the strongest, most beautiful, resiliant and courageous woman I have ever and am likely ever to meet.

I' m so very very lucky.

The Ex Factor...it has taught me a lot and continues to do so.